the last week

To sum up this class, I would say I learned a lot more than I had originally planned.

I constantly find myself relating back to things i've learned in the class in normal conversation, whether it is statistics we've learned or random comments made from other people in class.

I signed up for this class because I needed something else that I could put in a cluster, and to be honest I didn't have that high of hopes for it.

But now, i'm encouraging my friends and roommates to take it, it will not only give them a more open mind, but it will broaden their knowledge of how to make a successful family, and there is not one person on this earth that wouldn't benefit from that.

I'm excited to continue to use this knowledge with the family i have now, and also with my future family.

week 12

This week our main topics were divorce and stepfamilies.

I have NOT been looking forward to this week because this hits way too close to home for me right now. I was dreading what might come from my classmates, or what statistics might be given. I wasn't ready to accept that my family may be without hope.

However, that is not what this class was about. I thought it was so refreshing to hear a discussion about when it is OKAY to get a divorce.

I believe divorce happens for only two reasons, and that is selfishness and abuse. And honestly, selfishness is something people can overcome and rise up from. However, I never understood that abuse might be the same way. A lot of the time it means that a relationship needs to end..immediately. But there are two different kinds of abuse and situations.

It is just another reason why we can't judge a book by its cover, everyone has a different family situation and for us to try and assume that we know what is going on --especially in the case of divorce and step families then we are not only harming their progress, but also our own as well.

Week 11

Our main topic of discussion this week, was Parenting. Even though, i am very far from this step in my life, I know the importance of listening and paying close attention to the teachings we are given.

I think my favorite discussion so far this week, was when we talked about how there should only be a husband and a wife in the delivery room. I thought it was really interesting to see different perspectives and experiences of my classmates.

I am going to sound really immature -- but i think childbirth is gross. I hope that I change my mind by the time that I am ready to have children, but my whole life I have said that it will be a miracle if I even allow my husband in the delivery room. (which is kind of a joke..but kind of not) I actually thought it was really beneficial to know that when there are only two in the room then there will be a bond between the husband and wife that could not be there if there were mothers or mother in laws present too.

The next topic is spanking. I don't want to say that I will spank my children, but I am also not on the other really opposite end of saying that i definitely won't either. I think the key lies in knowing that when my parents spanked me, they also had unfailing love for me too. It was just the only way they knew how to express that i did something wrong. Sometimes talking about it, isn't as affective.

week 10

This week we've talked a lot about finances. It kind of stressed me out more than anything. Seeing how much money it costs to raise a family is incredible.

It made me think about my own family and how I was raised. We were a single income family. My sisters and I didn't participate too much in any sports, but my sister Marcie played the flute in the marching band, so there were some costs from that needed.

I feel like we traveled quite a bit. Every summer we would travel to different blind conventions whether they were in Texas, Washington DC, or Oklahoma. and because of my dads blindness a lot of extra expenses were needed for my family that weren't needed for others. We needed special assitive technology, and we used a lot more gas than most families since my mom had to take my dad to work and to meetings everyday.

Budgets scare me, if i'm being completely honest. And while I know i need to be a part of it when I get married, I hope that my husband has a sense of patience for it so that we can narrow down things from wants to needs.

This week has just reminded me how important it is for me to be financially stable before I get married and to start putting forth a budget now so that it isn't a complete shock when I have a family to help support.

week 9

This week the main topic of discussion that I remember is talking about our problems in communication.

We got into our small family groups and had to give each person our ultimate attention, while they conveyed to us their communication struggles. It was really difficult to me to not let my mind wander. There were a lot of things repeated and I was the second to last to present so it was kind of difficult for me to not think about what I was going to say.

That is my biggest communication problem. I unintentionally story top others and it bothers me so much!! I hate it when I get done telling a story and then someone else is there ready to come up with something ten times more exciting or interesting. But as much as I hate that I have to admit that I am guilty of it as well.

It is never because I want to make someone feel bad about what they have to say, but more because I feel like it relates and I want them to know that they aren't alone in whatever they are going through.

Something else we did this week was hold hands with a complete stranger, make eye contact, and tell them three genuine compliments. This wasn't the most painful thing ever for me, but I did find the eye contact to be difficult. I don't know why it feels so awkward to me. I think my partner had the biggest difficulty with holding hands. We were holding hands before we even knew each others name, but it proved a point of how important certain aspects of communication are for others.

week 8

This week we talked about family crisis.

I know that every family goes through crisis, so it was interesting to hear the different ways that families deal with them. I was raised in a house of writers, and I have a strong belief that when we write, our feelings finally connect with our brains. It's probably because we don't have much of a choice. How boring would it be to read "I don't know how i feel" over and over again? We have been blessed with such a large vocabulary from books and peers, and I think that's a good way to make use of it.

The thing that I took from this weeks classes were that we all need support systems, we all need an outlet that we can turn to when we feel pressure. Coping skills are an incredible thing and they are so necessary in everyone's lives so that when the stress hits us we know how to come away from it a stronger and more calm person.

Week 7

This week we talked more about intimacy in marriage, the things that were okay and what wasn't okay, and the steps of those feelings.

It seems like we're talking about this in all of my classes. In family relations we talked about the Law of Chastity and came up with the slogan "If you misuse it, you'll lose it."

In my Juvenile Delinquency class we talked about Sex Offenders and how things like pornography or other crude material cause our frontal lobe to shrink and after that we can never get that back.

In Family Relations we talked about the line between what is acceptable before and after marriage and it made me think about all of my friends and how different our answers would be.

Week 6

This week we talked about marriages and weddings.

We talked about what a marriage is and what society says that they should be. In class it was brought up whether or not it was okay for couples to have ring ceremonies in addition to temple marriages. Someone made the comment that its as advised by the brethren not to do that, but we talked about how difficult it would be for the family of those who were getting married but were unable to be in the Temple.

There is a saying that I would like to eventually shape my future by and it says, "I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding."

The importance of being married in the temple is very high to me, but the importance of a reception that society deems respectable isn't. The only thing that should matter from that point on is how my husband and I strive to grow together in happiness and the Gospel.

Week 5

This week we talked a lot about intimacy.

We got into our "family groups" and discussed what it means and how we become intimate with those around us.

It was a really interesting switch because half of my group was married and the other half was single. We each had different ideas, like having shared experiences, talking openly about certain things, about showing interest in the things your partner is interested in.

Something that was brought up by one of the girls in my group who is married was that as singles, we shouldn't read our scriptures, or go to the temple, or pray with someone that we are dating. I had NEVER heard that before and I was really interested to hear her reasoning.

She explained that in one of her other family classes they were taught that we sometimes confuse feeling the Spirit with feeling a prompting to stay with someone. Also, those feelings are sacred and should not be confused with anything else, like the feeling of closeness or love. As a married couple, reading scriptures and praying together will be the things that help strengthen my marriage, but for now it is important for me to do those things on my own and receive my own individual guidance from the Spirit.

We also talked about the 3 P's of dating.

1.paid for

2. paired off

3. planned ahead.

We discussed the differences between hanging out vs. dating someone and the things that hold us back from getting into serious relationships.

week 4

This week the main discussion that I can remember having was about homosexuality and the differences between men and women.

The list we made about the differences between men and women was especially entertaining to me. It is interesting how we see each other in different lights, but to be honest, while some of the other women in the class were getting upset about some of the things then men were saying, I agreed with a lot of it. While I know the strengths of a woman, I can also see how some men portray us to be "long winded" or "whiney" We have different priorities than they do and it was fascinating to see those.

The discussion about homosexuality was one that I knew would raise a lot of different opinions. However, I was surprised to see how much the same everyones thoughts were. It came down to that we are all children of God and that we need to try and see each other in the same way that our Father in Heaven sees them. We don't have to agree or support their decisions, but we do have to love them for who they are and not pass unrighteous judgment. I love all of the different perspectives from the class. It is amazing to me how many people within our church are closely related to someone who has chosen to act on their gay tendencies. I think it is good to have that balance so that we can remember to be respectful of others when we are discussing such controversial topics.

week 3

This week we've talked about homeostasis. What we do in our own families to maintain a certain healthy balance.

In my family we call each other regularly, or chat in some form. It helps us stay balanced by knowing what is going on in someone else's life. We know when to support, listen, or listen less to each other by knowing whats going on.

Without modern technology I would definitely be lost. It is the only way I can communicate with my family daily. Whether it's through Facebook, Cell phone calls, or texting, o

r even blogs I am always able to know what is going on in someone's life.

Another way that we maintain normalcy or homeostasis is by keeping traditions alive. In my family I don't ever remember ever reading scriptures together or having Family Home Evening, but I do always remember looking forward to traditions and knowing that they were a time that we could share our love for one another without having to outright say it. Going to Hershey Park Pennsylvania, or waking up to green t

reats on st. patricks day were all things that I looked forward to when I was growing up and they are things that I cherish the most as become an adult.

Week 2

On the last day of class this week, we mainly talked about Boundaries. We talked about the differences between good boundaries and bad boundaries.

It really helped me to draw a picture of my family and see who's relationships or boundaries are stronger than others. I have always considered myself to be close to all of my sisters, but when i started to think about their relationships with each other it became a lot more difficult because i could perceive it to be different than how it really is.

Another interesting subject that came up during class was whether the youngest child has a different way of being raised than the oldest children did. I definitely think that by the time I came along my parents were really tired, and I got away with a lot more than my older sisters did. However, when they talk about the things that my parents used to do with them when they were little it makes me think that we were raised by different people!

I recently found a book of poems and stories that my dad has written through the years, and many of them were about my oldest sister Tricia and how excited he was to learn he was going to be a dad, and how much fun they had together and all the places that they went together and the stories that he'd tell her. I felt so jipped! I love my parents and i'm very grateful for them and for the way they raised me, but I really do think it's true that with time my parents got tired. So for my oldest sisters they might have had more rules, but they also had more family time.

Family rules are interesting things ..the ones that are explicit in my family are things like "Listen to mom's safe-driving speech every time you leave the house" or "if you refuse to eat what we're eating for dinner than you cannot make anymore dishes with whatever you're going to make." Implicit rules are a little more tricky, because they are things you have to learn by experience. For example, in our family if i am angry about something and I know that i'm going to cry, then I vent to my mom about it. It has never been said, but it seems like the second you start crying during an argument with my dad you suddenly lose all your power. I think it's especially interesting to hear how different everyone else's families are from my own. That might be my favorite part of the class so far.

Week 1

I just barely added this class, so when I came in today I wasn't really sure what to expect. But I actually LOVED the discussion! It was so interesting to hear different viewpoints on why people get married, and to hear my peers talk about what is wrong with dating and what is right with dating.

I really enjoy the diversity between the married students comments and the single students comments. I personally believe that people get married for many reasons but one of which that we didn't spend too much time talking about, is because of the stability it provides. Not just monetarily but also emotionally and mentally.

I believe that a reason that pregnancy in teenagers is a growing trent because in some ways we glorify it with shows like Teen Mom and Sixteen and Pregnant. Don't get me wrong -- i love those shows just as much as the next person, but MTV has a way of showing its viewers reality without really showing them reality...if that makes sense. For example, while it shows these young moms going through difficult times trying to go high school and college while raising a child by themselves, but at the same time these girls are getting paid hundreds of dollars by all of the magazine companies that they are on the covers of.

Raising a child with MTV is a lot different than raising a child on your own but I think many young girls get those mixed up which leads them to believe it will be easier than their parents say.

The basics.

This is me! And I could've chose any picture I have of myself from the Winter and snow...cause living in Rexburg, we all have plenty of those, but I thought a picture of the summer describes me better! I stayed here during the 7 week break and pretty much lived at the Sandbar. I'm almost a junior and studying Psychology with hopes of eventually working in an eating disorder clinic or a self-harm unit in a psychiatric hospital. This is my blog to keep track of my thoughts and opinions in my Family Relations class.